The Hat Plots II
by Annie Rini Romanov
Summary: Revenge pairing with Dudley Dursley and my annoying cousin.


Disclaimer: First, I'm using my sister's pen name, FYI. The Hat Plots are mine. Everything else belongs to JKR. 

Author's Note: This story is actually a revenge plot upon my annoying cousin. 

            Dudley glanced up at the shop sign and gulped. He wasn't meant to be a salesman, not really. He was different than he had been as a boy. It started with his first sales job. He ended up in jail for bullying a customer and while in jail was bullied himself and nearly killed. He lost so much weight he wasn't recognizable when he was released. He wouldn't be pounding the streets again if his father hadn't cowed him into it. Now he was in New York bothering housekeepers and private storeowners about dusters and other cleaning products. He feared and hated it. Dudley went into the antique shop and looked for the counter. He couldn't see it over the stacks of boxes, books, dishes, and other materials. He walked through the makeshift aisles these stacks made lugging his briefcase behind him. He approached the cluttered counter, but he couldn't see anyone. It was deathly silent. "Hello?" he called, "Is anybody here?" He heard a muffled reply. "What was that?" he asked. "I said," came the reply from behind him, "I'll be there in a minute." He turned startled. "Can I help you?" she asked. "Um, yes. I'm with the Cleaning Company and we'd like to help you with your cleaning needs. First, I'd like to show you-"

            "No soliciting inside the store," came the robotic reply.

            "What?!" No one had ever interrupted Dudley's sales pitch before.

            "No soliciting _inside _the store," she repeated. Dudley looked at her incredulously. She continued, "If you have no other business, please vacate the premises."

            "Wait, umm," Dudley was finally grasping her subtle hint, " How 'bout over dinner?" She looked him over solemnly. He had lost a considerable amount of weight and now looked quite decent. "All right. I'll meet you outside the shop when it closes."            

            "Right," said Dudley, "I'll go now."

            "Don't trip on your way out."

After closing time...

            Dudley was very prompt in keeping his appointment. It would never do to keep the customer waiting. Actually, Dudley wasn't sure the woman would be patient enough to wait very long. Come to think of it, he didn't even know her name. That was rather shabby of him. He glanced at his watch, then at the store. Maybe she was waiting for him inside. He decided to venture in. "Hello?" he called. "Just a minute," the woman called. "There you are," she said sounding friendly, "Sorry, I got a little sidetracked." She finished putting her blonde hair into a bun and grabbed her purse. As she did so, her purse straps got caught on an umbrella handle and all the contents of her purse spilled across the floor. Dudley had bent on his knee to help when his eyes widened in fear. Amidst her things, he saw her driver's license, a wand, and a copy of New York's Witch Weekly. He looked at the woman kneeling across from him in shock as she hurriedly stuffed her things in her bag. "You're a witch aren't you?" he whispered. She glanced up at him, surprised, her face blushing delicately and she nodded ashamed at his horror. "Oh, no," said her date hurriedly, getting to his feet, "There's no way I'm taking you to dinner."

            "No, please," she begged pulling herself up by his knees, "I'm desperate!" She continued to cling to his shirt. 

            "Well, I'm not," he said decisively, backing away.

            "I'm not even a very good witch! I dropped out of school, please believe me!" she sobbed.

            "Why are you so desperate anyway?"

            "My family, my cousins, are famous witches and wizards. In shame, I left the Wizarding world and am now the loneliest woman on Earth. Surely you understand?"

            "It all sounds like a lot of melodramatic nonsense," he replied, shaking her off, "but since sales have been awfully low lately..." he looked at her meaningfully.

            "Anything!" she exclaimed still kneeling at his feet.

            "Good! Leave your wand here."

            "Of course!" And they went to dinner.

            Dudley found her very enchanting and felt sorry for taking advantage of her, but vowed never to go near her again. However, he couldn't seem to stay away. He would often stop across the street from her shop after work and carefully watch the shop until she came out, then he would go home satisfied. He was walking to his usual spot after work when he saw billowing smoke in the street. He started to run and as he turned the corner, he saw that Rebecca's shop was on fire. There were flashing lights, a baby was crying, and a crowd was gathering. Dudley hurtled across the street and arrived on the sidewalk just as a fireman rushed a coughing Rebecca out the front door and into his arms. "Dudley?" she asked dazedly. He couldn't reply. He could only gaze stupidly into her eyes as he wondered how he could ever bear to leave her side again. "Are you okay?" she asked worriedly at the look on his face. He blinked. "Yes. Yes, of course. Are you okay?" Without waiting for an answer, he took her aside and said, "Rebecca, I haven't been able to get you out of my mind these past couple of weeks. Will you marry me?" 

            Dudley quit his salesman job and became an inventor of things for muggles to cope with the Wizarding world, his most famous invention being a magic nullifier with a six-foot radius. 


End file.
